Death and Birth
Yesterday my grandmother passed away (my mom’s mom). She had battled cancer for many years, and underwent chemotherapy treatments for a long time. Chermotherapy is just plain evil. It’s poison that’s meant to kill cancer cells. The problem is that it doesn’t target cancer cells, so it affects your entire body. It’s very painful, and it’s hard to watch someone undergo the treatments.
Several weeks ago, the doctors decided that chemotherapy wasn’t helping, and so the decision was made to stop treatments. When this conversation occurs, the inevitable is apparent: there’s not much more time. My mom has been making frequent trips to south Georgia, and yesterday, my dad, brother, sister, and nephew made the trip down to see my grandmother. Things were not looking good for her, so we all knew it was time to visit. Unfortunately, I was unable to go. Liz’s due date is Feb 2nd, which means the baby could come at any moment, and I have to be here.
Then, yesterday evening, while close family gathered round, my grandmother passed away. My sister called me at the very moment it occurred at 9:08pm. I was grateful for that because I was able to feel a little bit like I was part of the experience, but, still, I’ve not really been able to deal with it emotionally like I know I would if I were with my family.
Now, as one member of my family passes on, so, too, another member enters the world. Our baby could be born at any minute, and the death of one family member and the birth of another makes me think about how life is a sort of cycle with the older generation passing its knowledge and lessons learned on the next, giving them the charge of this world and it’s burdens, good and bad. While my grandmother is gone, I look forward to introducing my child to his/her grandfather and to my paternal grandparents, as well. I also plan to talk to them a bit more often and let them know I love them.
7 Comments
Really sorry to know about your grandmother and I really wish you and Liz a good luck for the addition to your lives.
My grandmother passed away back in 1995 but I never got chance to tell her how much I respected her and loved her. Because since I remember she had lost her memory and never recognised me. But life goes on accordingly. No matter who it is, never let any moment go away when you could say how much you love them. I try not to and still feel I could do more.
I really hope you get over the sadness and look at the joy knocking on your door with pride.
Thank you and God Bless.
Ehsan
Please accept our condolensces; sorry for your loss.
That sucks, Ben. But it's nice to see your perspective on it. Death really is a consequence of life, and in order to live a wonderful life you must eventually die. Then the cycle starts over with your own children..
I had chemo a few years ago and I really do share your sentiments - chemo does its best to kill you. It's horrible. Franted, it saved me life, but most days I still quiver at the prospect of having to do it again some day.
Anyway, best of luck with the birth (whenever it happens!)
Sorry to hear that. I still remember the day my grandmother passed away. I was quiet that day but afterwards I often shed tears when I think of her alone. However it's the cycle of every life. I remember her kindness, her words, her frowns and smiles. Even now I often feel that she is with me.
I hope you can get over the grief soon and enjoy every day.
Your writing is helping a lot of people.
Thank you and God Bless.
Sadly, I had to share that experience too. Audrey was born 2 weeks after my grand-father's death, due to cancer and I got stuck waiting for the baby, instead of joining the family for that particular moment.
Nowadays, I know that the sight of Audrey definitely help the surviving grand mother to stay with us until today. And I always remember with emotion my grand-father, setting a hand on that big belly, and saying : "Ah! Now I feel like a great-grand-father.".
Please accept my most sincere condolences.
Hey Ben,
So sorry to hear about your loss. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
I lost my mother-in-law earlier this year to cancer and we were very close... your child will definitely help you get through! Mine keep me going every day whether I like it or not :) And all the joy you want to share with your grandmother- you can rest assured that she is still smiling down on you and experiencing it too.
Well life doesn't not agree with what we plan it to be, it never the less does go on... I really do feel fro your family having gone through much the sam with my father-in-law. But now you have a new one to take care of and plan for...One way of remembering remembering you grandmother, is start your family tree. She would be very honoured if you could write down all the great things you remember about her. I know this because I have lost two mothers, a father, both-in-laws... Since we came from small families, I found this hobby a great comfort... And yes I and a Swartout descendant... who is working on The Updated Swartwout Chronicles.... My heart will always with with you and your family.
Lots of Love
Kathy Hastings Hoeldke